How To Tell The Difference Between Needs and Wants: A Simple (But Grown-Woman) Guide

Written by Elle Hall Originally posted April 10, 2022 | Updated July 2025

Hey girl, hey! 👋🏽

It never fails—every now and then someone will throw financial advice my way, not realizing that I’m literally a financial coach who helps women stop living paycheck to paycheck and start stacking real money moves. And listen, I’ve heard it all…

“Girl, get you that $1,200 purse. Just throw it on credit and pay it off later!”

“Don’t even pay that bill. Let it go into collections—you’ll pay way less down the line.”

“Saving? For what?! You only live once, honey!”

Record scratch 🎵 Wayment… did I hear that right?!

Now, if folks feel this bold saying it to me, I can only imagine what they're telling other women. And to that I say:

“Stop it. Just… stop it right now.” 😂

So sis, if someone drops advice that makes you tilt your head and squint like something smells funny, just smile and say:

“Thanks for the advice, but I follow Girlfriend’s Budget, OKAAAY?!” 💅🏽

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Now Let’s Talk: Needs vs. Wants — Because Clarity is Queen 👑

Over the years, I’ve had more than a few clients confidently tell me things like:

“I need these new $700 shoes,”…as shoes are spilling out of their closet like an episode of Hoarders.

Or:

“I need this $50,000 car,”…even though we both know they’re behind on rent.

Girlfriend, NO. 🛑

A need is something you literally cannot function without—think food, safe housing, utilities, and basic clothing (you know, enough to not get arrested out in these streets).

A want, on the other hand, is everything extra—it might be nice, it might even be convenient, but it’s not necessary to survive or maintain your current lifestyle.

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The Problem?

Too many of us blur the line between want and need, and it keeps us stuck in financial cycles that are hard to break.

Real talk, sis: 

In 2025, over 62% of Americans say they’re living paycheck to paycheck — including 44% of folks earning six figures.

But here’s the kicker: when actual spending data is crunched, only about 26% of households are truly spending nearly all their income on necessities like rent, groceries, and bills (source: Axios, 2025).

That means a lot of us feel broke — even when our numbers say otherwise. That blurry line between wants and needs? It’s real — and it’s expensive.

When you know better, you spend better.

So let me give you a simple rule I use with my clients

The Rule I Give My Clients

If your "stuff" (shoes, bags, hair, brunches, tech, etc.) adds up to more than what you have in your savings account…

Houston, we have a problem.

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Let’s Break It Down: Needs vs. Wants 💡

This isn't about shame. It's about strategy.

You’re allowed to enjoy beautiful things. But you’re also responsible for taking care of what truly matters first.

💬 As financial columnist Michelle Singletary puts it:

“Instead of just writing down what you know—like rent or mortgage—try tracking every coffee, cab ride, or impulse buy for a week. That’s where the real budget-breakers hide.”

So sis, don’t sleep on those sneaky little charges—they add up faster than your brunch tab. 👀

Why does your “quick treat” disappear so fast? As Michelle Singletary says, tracking those daily little buys reveals what’s really sneaking out of your bank—and that’s where budgets go off-road.

💡 Need help figuring out where your money’s really going—and how to make a plan that fits your life? The Budget Guide has your back. It’s a downloadable step-by-step workbook I created to help you boss up your budget, separate your needs from your wants, and finally see that money move.

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Here’s a Quick Gut Check:

Before you hit "Add to Cart", ask yourself

• Is this a need or a want?

• Can I actually afford it—or am I stretching an already tight budget?

• Have I already covered my bills, savings, and essentials?

  
  

If the answer is no → Put. It. Back. If it’s yes → Go on and treat yourself, hunty! (And maybe grab one for ya girl too… just kidding… kinda 😏)

🔗 Related Content:

Wondering how to structure your paycheck to cover needs first?

Check out this post:👉🏽

How Do I Manage Bi‑Weekly Paychecks?

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Real Talk Before You Go:

Knowing the difference between a want and a need doesn’t mean you can’t ever indulge. It just means you’re moving with intention instead of impulse.

That’s grown woman money management.

Let’s keep this convo going—drop a comment and let me know:

What’s one “want” you recently walked away from because you knew it wasn’t in the budget?

Until next time,

Elle

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

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Author

Elle – Money & Business Coach

Elle Hall is a money and business coach on a mission to help women ditch survival mode and build real financial power. Through her signature no-judgment, no-fluff approach, she supports ambitious women in mastering their money, growing their businesses, and creating a life of ease and abundance. Ready to level up your finances? Explore coaching options or join the Girlfriend’s Budget community.