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Hey, girl hey…
So you’ve been seeing this guy or girl for the past few months…(I’d say 3 months minimum). You don’t want to be asking these questions on the first date and having a potential partner thinking you might be a little cray. But after several dates, and the feeling that things may be really starting to heat up, you might want to begin digging a little deeper… financially! Because although this person may be super dreamy and have the ability to say and do all the right things, their answers may actually determine how much further your relationship will go…(I’m just saying). I mean, why date without a purpose, right? So today, let’s discuss some questions you need to ask your honey buns on the next date:
1. How Much Do You Make?
Dun, dun, duuuun…. The dreaded question no one really wants to ask, but everyone wants to know. The reason to ask this question is not to see what you can or cannot get out of this person, but it’s moreso just to get a feel of where this person stands financially.
If boo thang doesn’t make that much… that’s okay, because it’s ultimately about how he/she manages their money. If they are able to sustain while managing a smaller amount of money, imagine how much better things will be once they start making more!
Now do not get me wrong here ladies, by no means am I saying that you should settle for less than what you’re willing to bring to the table. Ya know like…"he’s not working now, but he has the potential to get a good job" (side-eye), or "she said she wants to save more money, but every weekend she’s blowing it at the mall" (major side-eye). Hunty, when you’re dating someone, pay attention to all the signs… yes, even the financial ones, because those red flags ultimately come back to bite you in the ass later.
On the other hand, if boo thang makes a lot of money, that’s awesome… and technically that means that they should be paying off debt and have some money stashed away for their (or ya’ll’s) future, right?... See question #2.
2. Do You Have a Savings Account?
If the answer is ‘yes’, the follow up question here is “How much?” Anyone can have a savings account open, but the key here is to actually have something in it. If sugar lips has less than $100 in a savings account, maybe a friendly competition of who can save more in an agreed upon period of time can get the ball rollin’. Loser takes the other on a date (within reason of course), but in actuality, you’re both winners because ya’ll both have more money in the bank than you started with!
But on the flip side, if you actually care to see a financial future with this person and booskie doesn’t have a savings account, set the next date to meet at the bank… seriously!
3. What’s Your Credit Score?
Okay so flash forward and imagine you and your honey bunches have gotten married and perhaps now you want to buy a house. Well, girlfriends, you definitely don’t want to get to this point only to find out your bae has bad credit and the dream house you thought both of you wanted, may not become a reality.
The truth of the matter is that we’ve all made financial mistakes, but the question is… what are you doing about those mistakes? If a person is okay with having bad credit, girlfriend… RUN! There is nothing cute about having bad credit and doing nothing about it.
Trust me… your future self wants no issues with buying a house, a new car, or getting approved for any other loans. Remember that business you wanted to open one day?... Yea that!
Conversely, if bae has good credit… insert googly-heart eyes here!
4. What’s Your Debt Looking Like?
Translation: How deep in the financial hole are you and how long is it going to take you to get out?
If snookums cakes is debt free… that’s a keeper!
But I mean, it’s totally normal for the average person to have some type of debt (and should be working on it), but if pooh bear can barely see above all the debt they’ve accumulated, then girlfriend… you might want to re-think this situation. Because if you happen to marry this person, guess what? Their debt... becomes your debt. And who willingly wants more debt?!
“But I love ‘em, Elle!”
Statistically speaking... love does not always overcome money problems, which is one of the main reasons why people get divorced... financial fights! And not being on the same financial page as your life partner can drastically alter the relationship between you two.
So do yourself a favor and avoid the headache and heartache that money problems cause in relationships and get on the same page early on. Talk about how much money you eventually want to save, talk about what your credit score goals are, and talk about what you want your financial future to look like.
Your true life partner and soulmate will appreciate you for it!
Now girlfriends....we gotta keep it real. Don’t go grillin’ Bae and not expect to be prepared to have the same questions thrown back at you. Do you have your financial shit together? If not, are you working on it? Like I mentioned before, you shouldn’t settle for less than what you’re willing to bring to the table…. just make sure you're bringing the same as what you're asking for.
Until Next Time,